


The Sixth Letter

by Sol1t41r3



Series: Letters [1]
Category: Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard - Rick Riordan
Genre: Gen, just writing lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 09:30:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14734409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sol1t41r3/pseuds/Sol1t41r3
Summary: A companion 'one-shot' to the main story: Eight Letters From Me to You! Please read that first (if you haven't) if you're planning to read this.Wherein we get a look at out emotional dumpster fire of a writer (Alex) when she was writing the sixth letter





	The Sixth Letter

**Author's Note:**

> seriously what happened to the sixth letter
> 
> i dont even know

I seriously have never written this much in my life. When I first got dared to confess in some spectacular way I thought it would be pretty easy. Well, I thought. Confessing sucks. Not that I’ve ever done it before but putting your feelings out in the open? It’s ridiculous.

Insert TJ who suggested this stupid idea of writing letters. I thought he’d let me off with me leaving the letters in Magnus’ locker but then Halfborn and Mallory joined in, telling me about this whole scavenger hunt thing. Since I didn’t want to back down, I did it without thinking.

Now I’m six feet deep in this mess of writing and planning. Who knew that this had to be so hard? Couldn’t I have just suddenly told Magnus and be done with it?

Turns out, no, I can’t. Because due to my inability to deal with emotions correctly, I end up being this aloof asshole who pranks Magnus Chase to no end.

Bad choices, I know you love me but I don’t love you back.

I’ve cemented this position for two years now. Two damn years. So as you can tell, I’m going to have to pull off a miracle for this letters shebang to work.

I don’t know much about Chase except that he’s unnaturally sweet with his friends it’s disgustingly adorable and I don’t know why I find it so cute. He’s just this goofy ball of sunshine that I immediately took to. My standards are so incredibly and achingly low..

His smile is still cute, regardless..

Urgh, crush aside, I don’t know what the hell I’ve been doing lately.

In general.

I’ve been staying up some nights, trying to figure out what to write. It turns out that I can also have writer’s block, which is bad when you’re trying to write your feelings, though I guess it isn’t surprising since I’ve been suppressing my emotions for way too long.

But hey, whatever. I should probably get back to writing. There’s still three more to go.

I take a sip of coffee from the still-steaming mug Mallory gave me earlier and focus on the paper in front of me. This is the sixth letter, if I remember correctly. And what’s on the sixth letter is... Shit, that’s my suicide attempt, isn’t it? Fuck. Who the hell knows why I included this here? Maybe to get Magnus to feel sorry for me? Ugh, I hate that, it feels way too self-absorbed and needy.

No.. I put this in here because it’s a part of my _story_. That’s what I’m telling him right? Or not? What the hell have I been putting in these letters anyway? Just random shit about myself honestly.

These letters got out of hand so quickly. But in the end, I still have to write them.

So... V-E.. Alright, Y’s next. Never mind the letters, this shit has to be the cheesiest stuff I’ve ever done.

I grip my trusty ball pen and start writing.

 

_you, yes you. congratulations on the sixth letter, youve got two more to go and all this shit will be over, thank the lord hallelujah._

_according to my plan. i imagine you’re standing on the roof of fierro ceramics. bear with me as i relive some of my demons._

_so i bet you’re wondering, “what the heck am i doing on the roof of alex fierro’s dad’s tower/building/thing?” but i think the bigger question is that, “why is alex fierro?” first of all, i apologize_

No, that sounds way too formal.

_~~apologize~~ am sorry for how much alex has been a jackass to you. she cant help it._

I mutter to myself, “Because I’m emotionally constipated.” This is the second apology I’ve made right? Along with the paper ball thing that I start the whole plan with? Hmm, seems about right. I continue on. Gotta try to cover up my identity somehow. I’m sneaky that way.

 

_second, yes. im friends with alex fierro. i didn’t mention her before for.. reasons.. i guess._

I forgot about that point but honestly, some part of me wants him to figure it out so I don’t have to deal with all the extravagant surprising. On the other hand, if he.. rejects me then.. I guess I’m rejected. I lean against my chair, _Calm down, you don’t even know what_ you’re _doing during all of this._ Maybe I could join up with them or something and maybe..

 

_okay, those aside._

_magnus, you’re standing on the roof where i tried to make myself go splat on the concrete like a thousand feet below, probably ruining someone’s day._

_by the way, im mentioning suicide._

_woops_

_that line was supposed to go before.. never mind._

_in all seriousness though, suicide isn’t something i shouldn’t be joking about. hell, i should know because i literally tried this like last year? the facts are hazy._

 

And here’s the part where I try to insert myself into a story about myself. Ridiculous, I know, but I guess it’s to try and throw Magnus off. Plus, I get to put a good word in for myself.

 

_anyways, one early morning. i went up here thinking that everything was shit since it seemed like it._

_i stood against the railing, holding on for dear life. i looked down on boston, surprised at how early people could be awake but then again, i woke up at 3 fucking am._

_and i leaned forward, farther than i’ve ever been before. the wind almost seemed to pick up as if telling me, “you wanna jump? go ahead, i’ll help you.” it felt like it was mocking me. mocking me for being weak enough to consider suicide. a part of me hated it._

_i stood there for what seemed like hours. the sun shined down on me like a spotlight, like the whole world was watching me and seeing what i would do. in a matter of minutes, a guard would come up here. then my time would be up._

_suddenly, i decided not to do it. something inside me told me not to. but i stayed there, frozen and looking down. inside, i broke. usually i’m not afraid of heights but this one occasion.. a sudden fear that ive never had before took a hold of me and made me stay there. i couldn’t seem to let go of the railing and my heart was pounding like crazy, still swarming with the echoes of suicidal thoughts i thought were gone._

Crap, I’m turning poetic. What the hell.

 

_should i have done it? i don’t know, but what i know for sure that if i did, i wouldn’t be doing this and you’d probably never know that i liked you. something about that didn’t sit right with me._

_minutes pass._

_to my surprise, no guard comes. instead a friend bursts through the doors, wild-eyed. it was damn alex fierro, my fucking hero as it turns out._

_she almost slips running towards me then she pulls me away from the edge by the collar of my sweater. and we both fall to the ground. well, on the ground here was better than on the ground 300 feet below._

I think I developed a slight fear of heights after that. Or a fear of falling? I’m not sure.

Here we go.

 

_whatever alex did to you, maybe you just need a bit more time to know her. it seems impossible right? i don’t think so. i don’t know what she’ll do during these letters since i didn’t assign her anything to do so she acts by her own terms._

_though, knowing her, she’s probably sneaking around while you’re doing all this._

_good job getting this far, maggie._

Now, hopefully Sam does her part in the future and puts the next letter where I said. After all, I’m leading them to Magnus’s fancy schmancy mansion. Seriously, he doesn’t look like the type to have a family mansion but hey, I don’t look like the type to have a crush on a big dork.

That’s another letter done, it seems to be sailing smoothly. Now onto the seventh.. Well, I could’ve started on the seventh if Mallory Keen just hadn’t walked in.

“How it’s going?” Her curious tone betraying her nonchalant expression. It’s a wonder that she’s still awake, I thought she went back to sleep after making me the coffee.

“Thanks for the coffee.” I put aside my writing materials quickly. What I’ve been writing on these letters are classified. I’d probably die of embarrassment if I showed them to any of my friends. (If I could even call them my friends, anyway)

Mallory doesn’t reply, only ambling into the room and flopping onto my bed. By her tired expression, I could say that she’s been dealing with Halfborn for way too long today.

“He’s ridiculous.” The redhead says, staring at the ceiling blankly, “But somehow I still like the oaf.”

A smirk finds its way onto my face, “I get what you mean.”

“At least Beantown is still okay,” Mallory raises an eyebrow, “You don’t have to babysit him. I’m ready to tear my hair out from Halfborn’s antics.”

“R.I.P.” I take another sip of my coffee, tracing the design of the mug as I set it down.

“How many letters left?”

“Two.”

Mallory hums a familiar tune, “I still don’t believe that you’re actually doing this. Don’t get me wrong but I know that you’d only say your feelings if it was a matter of life or death.”

“I couldn’t just back down, could I?” Damn my impulsiveness. But even then, I wasn’t really in the right mind when they dared me that.

“Apparently not.”

The conversation dissolves into a comfortable silence. Mallory wasn’t much for conversation, neither was I. But I appreciated the break from writing. Never have I used my hands so much for manual labor. Well, except from pottery but that was something I enjoyed. (most of the time)

“Well.” Mallory claps her hands together, “You better get to sleep, Fierro.”

“No thanks.” I puff out my chest, feeling slightly uncomfortable but I squash that feeling down, “Sleep is for the weak.” The Irishwoman lets out a scoff.

“Whatever you say. But I’m not waking you up for school tomorrow.”

“Okay! Okay, I’ll sleep.” I hold my hands up in surrender at the threat. As much as I didn’t like school, I couldn’t afford another mark on my tardiness.

A laugh escapes out of Mallory’s lips, “You’re just like Halfborn. High school and I still have to play ‘ma’ with all of you. Except TJ, of course.”

“Who else would care for me?” I tease, crumpling a scrap piece of paper into a ball and throwing it at Mallory who’s still sitting on my bed.

“Magnus, maybe?” The redhead teases back as she stands up.

“Oh fuck off with that shit.” Despite my words, I can’t resist a small smile, “Get outta here.” Mallory gives me one last pointed look before leaving the room.

Now, with Mallory gone and I’m alone with my coffee and papers.. It’s back to work.

I review the sixth letter again. Should I write more? That last line seems like a good send-off though. It’ll leave him wondering, _Hey, why isn’t there a hint?_ At least, I hope it leaves him wondering that. Because I need to be mysterious, you know.

“It’s good enough,” I mutter, reassuring myself. That’s the sixth letter done.

Two more to go.

  

* * *

 

_Crap.._

_Where the hell is it?_

I’ve been looking around for the past few minutes, scouring every fucking nook and cranny of this goddamn roof and I can’t find it!

What if?

No. Fuck.

It’s gone, isn’t it? It’s goddamn gone. The letter’s gone.

Shit.

The others told me that it was a bad idea to place it here but I still did. Stupidly.

What the hell am I gonna say now? To Magnus?

Of course, I could always wing my explanation and just say whatever but it almost seems like he’s catching on to this whole act. It’s not like I expected him to be dumb but he _is_ surprisingly smart but fortunately really oblivious. I don’t think he’s gonna take long to figure all this out.

Though I don’t know how I’d like this to end. Would I prefer him to find out or stay blind? Which outcome would be better?

My opinion? Just getting my confession out there was good enough.

But one small part of my mind was just _Fuck, I really like this guy and I want to kiss his stupid face._ As any sane person could tell, this was getting out of hand. The result of being close to Magnus Chase for days straight.

Now I’m here, standing on the roof of a building with stupid memories, looking down again. Strangely, I didn’t feel afraid.

The sound of shuffling on concrete is faint behind me.

 “You don’t seem too scared now.” _Magnus._

_I guess you helped me overcome that fear._

“Hey.”


End file.
